I Have a Library to Run

5:00 AM

Ah, spring is here! The weather is pleasant, for once in this miserable little pit of a town, and there are flowers everywhere! Well, dandelions, anyways. I never minded dandelions. Some people get so worked up over a little yellow flower in their perfect green squares of lawn. Strange, neurotic people.

5:08 AM

I left the windows open last night in the building to air out the stuffiness. I’m not supposed to leave windows open over night—burglars might get in.

5:10 AM

Just checked under the bed and in the bathroom. No suspicious men in black ski masks that I could see.

5:11 AM

It’s always nice to look under the bed and not find a burglar. An everyday pleasure, you might say.

5:14 AM

Like tea. I remember I tried to give up tea for Lent one year.

5:15 AM

Why do religions always demand that you give up something? It’s ridiculous. I like tea; why should I have to give it up? Is happiness against religious text?

5:20 AM

Everything is yellow! Someone snuck in the library and painted everything yellow! I hate the color yellow! Whoever did this will di—

5:21 AM

Oh.

5:21 AM

It’s pollen. From leaving the windows open to let in the nice spring air. Well, there’s nice spring air now.

5:24 AM

And also nice spring pollen. This is going to take ages to clean up.

7:46 AM

HA! I may be old, but I can still dust and sweep up a storm!

8:00 AM

Someone is knocking on the door. The library doesn’t open until 9! The nerve…

8:05 AM

They still haven’t gone away. I suppose I shall have to DEAL WITH THEM. I shall need my umbrella.

8:07 AM

“BACK you devil who does not read the sign on the door that says we are not open until—YOU!!!”

It is Altan Yilmaz! Heart-breaker! Scoundrel! The sort of man women write advice columns about!

I shall whack him with my umbrella.

8:08 AM

There. I have accomplished something Good for womanhood today.

8:09 AM

ACK! He’s coming in! He’s coming in the library! And using his coffee cart as a buffer—I can’t reach him with my umbrella!

“Mrs. Evans! You…you are dead!” He looks choked up. I don’t care. I am a stone. I am chilled to his affections.

8:10 AM

And…he’s crying…

“Mrs. Evans, I’m so sorry I didn’t fix your heater that night before…before you were murdered! And now your spirit has come to haunt me for my failure!” Good lord, he’s on his knees…

“Please forgive me!” He looks very sincere.

8:11 AM

No! I am stone! Chilled stone!

8:15 AM

I’ll just give him some tea and send him on his way. Well, I’ll make him leave at 9. Because at 9, I have a library to run.